Today is a day special to 13. I don't normally post things like this on this blog... but I think this justifies a deviation from the usual subject musings. If it wasn't for 13, this blog may have never been born. Maybe I would have just stayed sheltered in my little world. Maybe I would have never seen pain, agony, and the dirt of the world right under my nose. And if I never saw it... then I would have never had the blessing of realizing my own brokenness, forced to turn to God, and experienced the unspeakable joy of watching Him work.
I would have never experienced the full joy of rolling up my sleeves and being allowed the honor of volunteering in the ditches. I would have never known the passion which now possesses me. I would have never perhaps found the need - that need that when you see it forces you off the couch and away from the tv and throw down your chips and say, "No more! I have to do something!"
And perhaps if there was never 13, then the motivation to keep going, to keep learning and trying and growing and trying to make a difference wouldn't be there. Definitely never in the face of opposition or well-meant people expressing their doubts.
But whenever I want to quit - I see a pair of blue eyes floating through the mist of years and pain and skeletons coming after us. I hear words encouraging me to process things and think through hard topics and move pass this, and not just move on... but make something positive out of it.
And most of all... I never would have understood that love means doing/being what the other person needs or wants - not what I need or want.
13, I can never say the things I want to to you to your face... at least not now. Maybe someday... And why is another post for another day.
But thank You, God, for giving me such an inspiration, for giving me someone to stretch and grow me way more than I ever could on my own. Thank You. I'm out of words... so I'll just end with a simple but heartfelt...
Thank You.
Friday, October 9, 2015
Monday, September 7, 2015
A Reminder about Love
So today... was a day... a good day... but ending on note of reminder. In part a reminder of what I would really like to forget once in awhile. A reminder that 13 and I see differently sometimes. That our decisions are once again splitting in different directions. A reminder that we are trying to put duct tape on those cracked edges of concrete paths instead of flat out facing them. A reminder that maybe one day I'm going to have to face fighting battles without them...
I don't like facing that.
I used to be better about forgiveness and working things through. Now I just get sad and depressed and think depressed thoughts... that perhaps I was never loved the way I thought I was... That maybe everyone is right. That no two people can reach across so many lines. That I should have never tried, never thought I could with so much stacked against us - families, social classes, cultures, backgrounds that have shaped us into who we are with our own baggage, ideas, and expectations. yada yada yada.. you get the general idea.
I was giving up. Ready to quit. Mad. Mad at them for not loving me better. Mad at them for not fighting harder. For not showing me more. For not seeing what I was so sure was the truth stamped on the wall in front of their face. For making what I consider poor decisions.
And I was ranting to my best friend, not too unusual, poor girl! She always puts up with me even when I shouldn't be put up with. Tonight was no exception. Also as usual when I'm close to my last straw or losing the right mindset, she said something profound.
First she explained how people hide behind fronts when things are really bothering them. So the arguing tonight could be, and probably was looking back, just as much a front even if they believed a 100% what I was saying. Because debating about theoretical theology is ten times easier than facing and discussing reality.
"Love him,
… Love him expecting to never get anything back. But love him and keep showing him God through your love. It’s all you can do (well, that and pray) but it’s the most powerful thing. And I venture to say that your prayers and love have done a lot for that boy ;)
You will be okay…and tomorrow will be better (or least we can hope!)"
I don't like facing that.
I used to be better about forgiveness and working things through. Now I just get sad and depressed and think depressed thoughts... that perhaps I was never loved the way I thought I was... That maybe everyone is right. That no two people can reach across so many lines. That I should have never tried, never thought I could with so much stacked against us - families, social classes, cultures, backgrounds that have shaped us into who we are with our own baggage, ideas, and expectations. yada yada yada.. you get the general idea.
I was giving up. Ready to quit. Mad. Mad at them for not loving me better. Mad at them for not fighting harder. For not showing me more. For not seeing what I was so sure was the truth stamped on the wall in front of their face. For making what I consider poor decisions.
And I was ranting to my best friend, not too unusual, poor girl! She always puts up with me even when I shouldn't be put up with. Tonight was no exception. Also as usual when I'm close to my last straw or losing the right mindset, she said something profound.
First she explained how people hide behind fronts when things are really bothering them. So the arguing tonight could be, and probably was looking back, just as much a front even if they believed a 100% what I was saying. Because debating about theoretical theology is ten times easier than facing and discussing reality.
"Love him,
… Love him expecting to never get anything back. But love him and keep showing him God through your love. It’s all you can do (well, that and pray) but it’s the most powerful thing. And I venture to say that your prayers and love have done a lot for that boy ;)
You will be okay…and tomorrow will be better (or least we can hope!)"
What she said was so profound. What is the point of love? What we can get out of it? Or what the other person needs?
Christ loved us with a sacrificial love, laying down His own life for us. He could have just wiped out the earth and started over with a fresh, sinless creation. But no. He took the hard way - He chose to save us. To be born a man, live a man limited by a human shell, experience every form of pain, agony and abuse. To be in His final hour forsaken by the Father as He took on the sin of the world despite being the most blameless Lamb. To die an excruciating death. And then to descend where finite mortals, not infinite God, are forced to descend, to Hades, where He wrested the keys away from Satan and stripped death of its power. All this so we might be cleansed of sin, made new in Him. And then made pure as snow, transformed more and more into His image like a mirror beholding and reflecting through the lifetime work of transformation, able to finally begin to fathom and return this love. (And to think at times I complain about the pain of transformation! How short compared to eternity and the extent of all He has done!) We will never fully comprehend this love nor know it's depths though we have eternity to contemplate it.
And yet we complain when we dish out love and don't reap the outcome we want? What kind of love is that? Selfish, low down, stingy, and mean. If you want your wishes gratified, go buy a gallon of ice cream. Love is about leaving the other person better off than you found them. It's about seeing their needs and making sure they're met. "It's about doing what's best for them even to the extent of sacrificing their wants at times." - 13. It's easier at times to give someone what they want than what they need. After all there is a self satisfaction in being thanked and praised. If nothing else, it saves one from hearing the whining and complaining.
So what is love if it is not imitating God's love? Fleshly, low, as changing as the wind, love.
And then there is perfect love, able to cast out all fear - capable of surmounting all obstacles, even hell itself. "Love never falls away" (1 Cor. 13:8). Everything else may pass away but this love will not.
God is love. Love with His love. Not yours. Yours will die. His survived death.
So what is love if it is not imitating God's love? Fleshly, low, as changing as the wind, love.
And then there is perfect love, able to cast out all fear - capable of surmounting all obstacles, even hell itself. "Love never falls away" (1 Cor. 13:8). Everything else may pass away but this love will not.
God is love. Love with His love. Not yours. Yours will die. His survived death.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
It all boils down to...
So today... has been a day. Parts of it mundane. Like cooking greens. Parts of it full of the little joys. Like someone showing you a picture of a model and saying they look like you! And parts of it just plain bad. Like someone walking in and teasing me about my crush and him sitting right there unbeknownst to them.
And as usual, Sunday proved a day of musings. Not all connected... but all making me think, growing me. Because this happens often, I'm going to start this series and entitle it "Sunday Musings."
Random musing while ranting about something else (consider it the light bulb moment in the not so turning to Christ moment): Ultimately, choosing the right actions in life should generally come down to honoring Christ, helping others, and doing the right thing. Not the easy thing. Not the fun thing. Not what we want.
Or even simpler: His will.
Not WWJD or what's the right thing. Because let's face it. A lot of times there are two good decisions or two bad ones. On our own it's hard to know which one's right.
So it comes down to whatever is important to you.
For me, all too often what's important to me is me. But my hope and goal and prayer is that God would continue to revolutionize my thinking making me put more and more of an emphasis on honoring and glorifying Him. His will. Not what I want or even what I think I need.
Just Christ.
Just God.
And as usual, Sunday proved a day of musings. Not all connected... but all making me think, growing me. Because this happens often, I'm going to start this series and entitle it "Sunday Musings."
Random musing while ranting about something else (consider it the light bulb moment in the not so turning to Christ moment): Ultimately, choosing the right actions in life should generally come down to honoring Christ, helping others, and doing the right thing. Not the easy thing. Not the fun thing. Not what we want.
Or even simpler: His will.
Not WWJD or what's the right thing. Because let's face it. A lot of times there are two good decisions or two bad ones. On our own it's hard to know which one's right.
So it comes down to whatever is important to you.
For me, all too often what's important to me is me. But my hope and goal and prayer is that God would continue to revolutionize my thinking making me put more and more of an emphasis on honoring and glorifying Him. His will. Not what I want or even what I think I need.
Just Christ.
Just God.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Two Dreams
I'm not for putting stock in dreams. I try to be logical for the most part. And most of my dreams at least can be explained perfectly logically. For that matter the two dreams I'm going to mention today I can explain in a perfectly logical way. Therefore, my purpose isn't so much that they mean something is going to happen or not happen or whatever. Instead, they serve as a sort of metaphor to me.
The first one happened a couple nights ago. It was very brief. I dreamed someone hugged me and all my pieces popped back into place. I couldn't see their face really. It blurred out. But they seemed so happy... and I asked if this was real... if the pieces were going to stay in place this time... if this was for real. Even in the dream there was a vague flashback to the time when I'd said it... moments before it went down... as I reached over for a hug... the beginning of the start of the cyclone that sucked me down, down, down in a tornado of abuse, manipulation, and ripping scars.
But this time, this time the voice of the fuzzy faced personage said, "Yes, this is real." He didn't say it over and over and over again like the voice in the cyclone. He just said, "Yes," and laughed that happy, happy laughter.
It was brief. Very brief. But it enough
------------------------------------
The second one came the next day. It was precisely what I wanted. Everything. It was the person I wanted, the embrace I wanted, the kiss to be rid of that other kiss, the words I wanted to hear - tons of them rolling on about how it would all be ok, it would hold up despite whatever, we'd face it all and fight it all together...
And yet there was still stress. Everything was quite good. It was the strangest sensation of having everything one wanted, being overjoyed over it, and yet... something was still stressful... there was that worry still nagging in the back of my mind - worry about whether things would go smoothly, worry that just because he loved me and I loved him he wouldn't stick around if everyone didn't accept it immediately. Worry... worry...
-----------------------------------------------
I don't believe either of the two scenarios will play out, at least not in exact detail. But it did make me think and convicted me. There's a difference between what we want and what's best for us. God doesn't always not give us what we want. But sometimes it's with a twist for the better. But when we're focused on just what we want we can't always let go enough to see the best that He wants to give us. Not that He can't just knock our plans out of our hands. However, it's generally easier and smoother if we go ahead and relinquish. He'd really rather us just rely on Him. Believe in Him. Not be duped by Satan's counterfeit that sometimes comes right after the revelation to tempt us, like my second dream followed my first.
So that's why...
I'm working on letting go of dream two... giving it over to Him.
And meanwhile just walking down the road of life content with where I am and with what I have. Whether He brings dreams one or two or another I can't even imagine, which is probably what it will be (I LOVE His surprises!), it doesn't matter. He's got this.
I don't believe in me.
I believe in Him.
---------------------------------
The first one happened a couple nights ago. It was very brief. I dreamed someone hugged me and all my pieces popped back into place. I couldn't see their face really. It blurred out. But they seemed so happy... and I asked if this was real... if the pieces were going to stay in place this time... if this was for real. Even in the dream there was a vague flashback to the time when I'd said it... moments before it went down... as I reached over for a hug... the beginning of the start of the cyclone that sucked me down, down, down in a tornado of abuse, manipulation, and ripping scars.
But this time, this time the voice of the fuzzy faced personage said, "Yes, this is real." He didn't say it over and over and over again like the voice in the cyclone. He just said, "Yes," and laughed that happy, happy laughter.
It was brief. Very brief. But it enough
------------------------------------
The second one came the next day. It was precisely what I wanted. Everything. It was the person I wanted, the embrace I wanted, the kiss to be rid of that other kiss, the words I wanted to hear - tons of them rolling on about how it would all be ok, it would hold up despite whatever, we'd face it all and fight it all together...
And yet there was still stress. Everything was quite good. It was the strangest sensation of having everything one wanted, being overjoyed over it, and yet... something was still stressful... there was that worry still nagging in the back of my mind - worry about whether things would go smoothly, worry that just because he loved me and I loved him he wouldn't stick around if everyone didn't accept it immediately. Worry... worry...
-----------------------------------------------
I don't believe either of the two scenarios will play out, at least not in exact detail. But it did make me think and convicted me. There's a difference between what we want and what's best for us. God doesn't always not give us what we want. But sometimes it's with a twist for the better. But when we're focused on just what we want we can't always let go enough to see the best that He wants to give us. Not that He can't just knock our plans out of our hands. However, it's generally easier and smoother if we go ahead and relinquish. He'd really rather us just rely on Him. Believe in Him. Not be duped by Satan's counterfeit that sometimes comes right after the revelation to tempt us, like my second dream followed my first.
So that's why...
I'm working on letting go of dream two... giving it over to Him.
And meanwhile just walking down the road of life content with where I am and with what I have. Whether He brings dreams one or two or another I can't even imagine, which is probably what it will be (I LOVE His surprises!), it doesn't matter. He's got this.
I don't believe in me.
I believe in Him.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
It's Not About Us
Sometimes I'm so annoyed by people's self-centeredness. And then I see my own selfishness... and it irks and pains me so deeply. The guilt of being such a big hypocrite....
My dad and I had a conversation about that the other day...
You know... it's not about us...
It's not about us
It's not about my preferences. My prejudices. My way. My favorite.
It's about Him and what's on His heart.
Not about my comfort zone. It's not about my passion, my wish, my desire, my dream. It doesn't matter how uncomfortable or unsure or ridiculous I feel. It's not about the degree of logic or illogical things are to my "brilliant" mind. It's not about how I like it or don't like it. It's not about how I like to serve or worship or who I want to love any more than how I like my beans cooked. We would for the most part agree that the way we like our beans cooked doesn't matter in the long run compared to taking care of other believers, preaching the gospel, or obeying our Lord.
Sadly... sometimes we treat the important stuff like only our preference matters.
If wearing a purple shirt offends someone, I should wear the blue. If the purple shirt was unscriptural, I should totally wear the blue even if it makes me uncomfortable. As someone very wise recently said (the exact quote is escaping me so here's the paraphrase Mia version :P), we're all eager to do our utmost to not offend anyone and everyone except for the God of the universe.
The ultimate love or service or worship or obedience is 100% about Christ and His Body and 100% not about me.
My dad and I had a conversation about that the other day...
You know... it's not about us...
It's not about us
It's not about my preferences. My prejudices. My way. My favorite.
It's about Him and what's on His heart.
Not about my comfort zone. It's not about my passion, my wish, my desire, my dream. It doesn't matter how uncomfortable or unsure or ridiculous I feel. It's not about the degree of logic or illogical things are to my "brilliant" mind. It's not about how I like it or don't like it. It's not about how I like to serve or worship or who I want to love any more than how I like my beans cooked. We would for the most part agree that the way we like our beans cooked doesn't matter in the long run compared to taking care of other believers, preaching the gospel, or obeying our Lord.
Sadly... sometimes we treat the important stuff like only our preference matters.
If wearing a purple shirt offends someone, I should wear the blue. If the purple shirt was unscriptural, I should totally wear the blue even if it makes me uncomfortable. As someone very wise recently said (the exact quote is escaping me so here's the paraphrase Mia version :P), we're all eager to do our utmost to not offend anyone and everyone except for the God of the universe.
The ultimate love or service or worship or obedience is 100% about Christ and His Body and 100% not about me.
Friday, June 26, 2015
It's Not about Love, It's Not About What We Want; It's about the Law and All Humans' Rghts
So today was a day that will go down in the annuls of history.
Today Friday, June 26, 2015 the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that gay marriage is now legal.
And I'm supposed to be happy. At least that's what everyone tells me. I'm young and so therefore I must be jumping up and down at this huge step for love.
I just feel more like the it's still soaking in and I can't quite believe it. Instead of realizing how historic it is and being blown away by it, I'm just walking around like it hasn't soaked in, feeling like it's Freaky Friday.
I mean I guess the family members can come out of the closet now... but were they really in the closet? Maybe they came out a long time ago. I mean I knew about it when I was like a teenager. And I never heard of them really hiding it. Just more or less it was just one aspect of their multifaceted selves. Just like me wanting to speak out and help with porn addictions is one aspect of my life I'm not ashamed of, it taught me a lot, but I don't generally go around discussing it and saying it's everything that makes me, me.
But then ya know most would just call me a a big headed bigot for saying those last few sentences I guess.
I mean I'm a young person and this is about love they tell me. I should totally understand.
And that's where I'm really ticked off. I do totally understand.
See when did we decide to let the government tell us who and what we can love? If the Supreme Court ruled tonight that I couldn't love my dog I still totally would. Or if they told me I had to hate all Italians, I'd still love my friends of Italian descent.
See, this isn't about love. This is about law. I'm not here to dictate to anyone who they should or shouldn't love or hate. And the government shouldn't be either.
They were ruling about the law not our love lives.
A law about whether or not kids should have a parent of both sexes. A law about whether people should be forced to perform ceremonies against their wills or not. A law about forcing people, all people - families, schools, businesses - to conform to teaching and viewing a family in a whole different light.
And while it's all very well for me to make whatever choice I want about my love life and you to make whatever choice you want about your love life... I think it's unfair to make that choice for someone else too. Like the kids. They have rights too. It's my personal opinion that the helpless, the underage, and weaker of society should actually have more rights protecting their liberties than us who are over legal age. We are called "responsible adults" for a reason. Yes, I'm very weird like that. I think they should be allowed to have a chance, an opportunity to interact with a man and a woman figure in their early lives. Then if they want to later make the choice to be heterosexual or homosexual it's their choice. But I will fight for the right that they should at least have a chance to interact with a mom and a dad as a female and male. They have a right to an opportunity of experiencing two very different types of parents - male and female. This is not a right we can just take from them because it would make it more convenient for us.
Yes, I'm very bizarre like that.
Shout at me. Tell me how unfeeling I am. But don't accuse me of taking away your rights because I believe no one should tell anyone who or what they should love. Except for God. And I'm not God. Neither are you for that matter. I just think the kids should get that right. Because I've seen the grown up products of those kids that didn't. Because I've read and listened to their voices. Because this isn't about what I want as a full grown, able to fend for myself, adult. The bone I'm picking has to do with the ones that are not full grown and cannot fend for themselves but are subject to being affected by whatever our whims, now backed by government sanction, can do.
On a side note, I also think that someone performing ceremonies should retain the right to only perform those they feel comfortable performing. I think someone who has grown up being forbidden to harbor homosexual sentiments suddenly forced to perform a ceremony that every fiber of their being disagrees with is not establishing freedom but rather putting one's freedom above another's.
And I think we should all be given grace, mercy, and the benefit of the doubt if we don't understand each other's excitement or aversion to the ruling today.
I know where I stand. I know why - the thought process, the rationality, the moral ground, and the emotion - that has led me to this position. I do not judge you if your position is different from mine.
But please, please, please in the name of equality and justice and rights for all, don't accuse me of digging my nose in your personal business and saying the law should dictate you can't love who you want when you want. I am only arguing that the law should never throw out one set of people's rights for another group's rights. And that is precisely what we are doing with this act. And what we did with Roe v. Wade. In each case, we're throwing out the rights of the weak and the underage and the ones with the littlest strength in their voices due to their youth and station in life in the name of equality.
There is no new equality now. There is just a swap of freedoms. The children will not be able to argue for many years now. Or they will be stifled out of respect for their parents or loved ones. Or drowned by the media's attention to making sure only "politically correct" victims are allowed to go viral. Because lets face it, victims speaking out make us awkward. Especially, ones we'd rather not face exist. I know. I've been a victim.
Dear Rainbow Flag constituent, I'm sorry you were wronged, are wronged. I'm sorry you have suffered pain. I really am. And as you cross my path I will not shove you away. I will love you in Christ. I will accept you as an equal human being deserving of treatment, love, and respect as such whether or not we agree on all issues.
But please my fellow victim if you have been victimized, stripped of rights or terribly wronged, for I too am a victim of abuse although perhaps for different reasons, see that there are victims on every side.
And I will always take the quietest, most suppressed side. I will always take the children's side no matter what I personally may desire for myself. I am a teacher, a tutor, a children's advocate. Whether that's fighting the abuse of a physically abusive father, bandaging the wounds of a broken home, or advocating for each child to have an opportunity at having two different sex parents, I'll be there fighting that battle.
Please join me, constituents of both flags. Please join me in reaching out to the children, in giving them a better life. In making laws that will protect what is in their best interests even if they go against the grain of our desires.
The law is not about what or who you love. It should be about protection and the rights of all.
P.S. if you're interested in the actual stories of real life kids, start here: http://thefederalist.com/2015/03/17/dear-gay-community-your-kids-are-hurting/
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/quartet-of-truth-adult-children-of-gay-parents-testify-against-same-sex-mar
http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/06/what_life_is_like_when_children_of_gay_couples_dont_matter.html#.VaAk7ak0t8o.twitter
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court
Today Friday, June 26, 2015 the Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that gay marriage is now legal.
And I'm supposed to be happy. At least that's what everyone tells me. I'm young and so therefore I must be jumping up and down at this huge step for love.
I just feel more like the it's still soaking in and I can't quite believe it. Instead of realizing how historic it is and being blown away by it, I'm just walking around like it hasn't soaked in, feeling like it's Freaky Friday.
I mean I guess the family members can come out of the closet now... but were they really in the closet? Maybe they came out a long time ago. I mean I knew about it when I was like a teenager. And I never heard of them really hiding it. Just more or less it was just one aspect of their multifaceted selves. Just like me wanting to speak out and help with porn addictions is one aspect of my life I'm not ashamed of, it taught me a lot, but I don't generally go around discussing it and saying it's everything that makes me, me.
But then ya know most would just call me a a big headed bigot for saying those last few sentences I guess.
I mean I'm a young person and this is about love they tell me. I should totally understand.
And that's where I'm really ticked off. I do totally understand.
See when did we decide to let the government tell us who and what we can love? If the Supreme Court ruled tonight that I couldn't love my dog I still totally would. Or if they told me I had to hate all Italians, I'd still love my friends of Italian descent.
See, this isn't about love. This is about law. I'm not here to dictate to anyone who they should or shouldn't love or hate. And the government shouldn't be either.
They were ruling about the law not our love lives.
A law about whether or not kids should have a parent of both sexes. A law about whether people should be forced to perform ceremonies against their wills or not. A law about forcing people, all people - families, schools, businesses - to conform to teaching and viewing a family in a whole different light.
And while it's all very well for me to make whatever choice I want about my love life and you to make whatever choice you want about your love life... I think it's unfair to make that choice for someone else too. Like the kids. They have rights too. It's my personal opinion that the helpless, the underage, and weaker of society should actually have more rights protecting their liberties than us who are over legal age. We are called "responsible adults" for a reason. Yes, I'm very weird like that. I think they should be allowed to have a chance, an opportunity to interact with a man and a woman figure in their early lives. Then if they want to later make the choice to be heterosexual or homosexual it's their choice. But I will fight for the right that they should at least have a chance to interact with a mom and a dad as a female and male. They have a right to an opportunity of experiencing two very different types of parents - male and female. This is not a right we can just take from them because it would make it more convenient for us.
Yes, I'm very bizarre like that.
Shout at me. Tell me how unfeeling I am. But don't accuse me of taking away your rights because I believe no one should tell anyone who or what they should love. Except for God. And I'm not God. Neither are you for that matter. I just think the kids should get that right. Because I've seen the grown up products of those kids that didn't. Because I've read and listened to their voices. Because this isn't about what I want as a full grown, able to fend for myself, adult. The bone I'm picking has to do with the ones that are not full grown and cannot fend for themselves but are subject to being affected by whatever our whims, now backed by government sanction, can do.
On a side note, I also think that someone performing ceremonies should retain the right to only perform those they feel comfortable performing. I think someone who has grown up being forbidden to harbor homosexual sentiments suddenly forced to perform a ceremony that every fiber of their being disagrees with is not establishing freedom but rather putting one's freedom above another's.
And I think we should all be given grace, mercy, and the benefit of the doubt if we don't understand each other's excitement or aversion to the ruling today.
I know where I stand. I know why - the thought process, the rationality, the moral ground, and the emotion - that has led me to this position. I do not judge you if your position is different from mine.
But please, please, please in the name of equality and justice and rights for all, don't accuse me of digging my nose in your personal business and saying the law should dictate you can't love who you want when you want. I am only arguing that the law should never throw out one set of people's rights for another group's rights. And that is precisely what we are doing with this act. And what we did with Roe v. Wade. In each case, we're throwing out the rights of the weak and the underage and the ones with the littlest strength in their voices due to their youth and station in life in the name of equality.
There is no new equality now. There is just a swap of freedoms. The children will not be able to argue for many years now. Or they will be stifled out of respect for their parents or loved ones. Or drowned by the media's attention to making sure only "politically correct" victims are allowed to go viral. Because lets face it, victims speaking out make us awkward. Especially, ones we'd rather not face exist. I know. I've been a victim.
Dear Rainbow Flag constituent, I'm sorry you were wronged, are wronged. I'm sorry you have suffered pain. I really am. And as you cross my path I will not shove you away. I will love you in Christ. I will accept you as an equal human being deserving of treatment, love, and respect as such whether or not we agree on all issues.
But please my fellow victim if you have been victimized, stripped of rights or terribly wronged, for I too am a victim of abuse although perhaps for different reasons, see that there are victims on every side.
And I will always take the quietest, most suppressed side. I will always take the children's side no matter what I personally may desire for myself. I am a teacher, a tutor, a children's advocate. Whether that's fighting the abuse of a physically abusive father, bandaging the wounds of a broken home, or advocating for each child to have an opportunity at having two different sex parents, I'll be there fighting that battle.
Please join me, constituents of both flags. Please join me in reaching out to the children, in giving them a better life. In making laws that will protect what is in their best interests even if they go against the grain of our desires.
The law is not about what or who you love. It should be about protection and the rights of all.
P.S. if you're interested in the actual stories of real life kids, start here: http://thefederalist.com/2015/03/17/dear-gay-community-your-kids-are-hurting/
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/quartet-of-truth-adult-children-of-gay-parents-testify-against-same-sex-mar
http://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2015/06/what_life_is_like_when_children_of_gay_couples_dont_matter.html#.VaAk7ak0t8o.twitter
http://cnsnews.com/news/article/lauretta-brown/adults-raised-gay-couples-speak-out-against-gay-marriage-federal-court
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
"Why me? Why us, God?" - When it all falls apart
"You may think that I'm just fine.
How could anything ever be out of line?
I take my time to set the stage
Make sure everything's in place.
Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words." - "Behind the Scenes"
Sometimes it's so weird.... the very idea of a dream dying is so painful it becomes unthinkable. I force myself to think of it, to come to grips with it, because I fear not coming to grips with it. It's as though in this painful, mixed up, unpredictable world I have a great need to know what my reaction will be. As if I think what I should say or do enough times it will actually turn out.
Funny how a girl like me should have so much trouble facing the dying of a dream. Me, that stared death in the eye so many times. That has seen the finger of mortality touch those I love best exposing the physical weakness of the strongest soul.
I'm even warned that this dream is going to die unless there's some major miracle.
And I keep forcing myself to think through what I'll do when it all falls apart finally.
Oddly enough it is oftentimes here where we are left on the precipice that saw or is to see the demise of our low no matter how high mortal dream that we grow angry with God. Oh how many times have I been guilty of this! How incredible, when one steps back and thinks about it, it is to shake one's fist at and question the One Great Almighty. The One Who, unlike us, is not limited by time, space, circumstance, bias, selfishness, and impure motives. He alone knows what was in eternity past. He alone knows what time will span. He alone can see eternity future. Only God our Savior can care deeply enough to have planned our lives without an ounce of impure intention.
Bowed down, humbled at this thought I can face the very possible demise of my beautiful dream better. I am still an artist who feels the torture of seeing one's chief work, so many cherished hopes of great things centered on burned before one's eyes. I am as yet not fully transformed though by and by I shall be thanks to the Master Artist. That is the hope, the stay, the reward - in short the reason to keep plodding even on the most miserable days. Knowing I am a part of His work, the greatest Artist's piece, is enough. I am His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). And that my friends, fills me with hope.
Well the demise of my dream did not come today after all. It was instead another piece of news. So unexpected in fact my mind is reeling and my soul even more so. No doubt it will make it's way onto this blog as well once I have regained enough ability to think if only rambling trails in the hope of making sense of it.
But even still, or rather because of it, I see how powerful, big, and omniscient God is and I am humbled and repentant for ever asking, "Why God, why me, why us?"
How could anything ever be out of line?
I take my time to set the stage
Make sure everything's in place.
Even though I've got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words." - "Behind the Scenes"
Sometimes it's so weird.... the very idea of a dream dying is so painful it becomes unthinkable. I force myself to think of it, to come to grips with it, because I fear not coming to grips with it. It's as though in this painful, mixed up, unpredictable world I have a great need to know what my reaction will be. As if I think what I should say or do enough times it will actually turn out.
Funny how a girl like me should have so much trouble facing the dying of a dream. Me, that stared death in the eye so many times. That has seen the finger of mortality touch those I love best exposing the physical weakness of the strongest soul.
I'm even warned that this dream is going to die unless there's some major miracle.
And I keep forcing myself to think through what I'll do when it all falls apart finally.
Oddly enough it is oftentimes here where we are left on the precipice that saw or is to see the demise of our low no matter how high mortal dream that we grow angry with God. Oh how many times have I been guilty of this! How incredible, when one steps back and thinks about it, it is to shake one's fist at and question the One Great Almighty. The One Who, unlike us, is not limited by time, space, circumstance, bias, selfishness, and impure motives. He alone knows what was in eternity past. He alone knows what time will span. He alone can see eternity future. Only God our Savior can care deeply enough to have planned our lives without an ounce of impure intention.
Bowed down, humbled at this thought I can face the very possible demise of my beautiful dream better. I am still an artist who feels the torture of seeing one's chief work, so many cherished hopes of great things centered on burned before one's eyes. I am as yet not fully transformed though by and by I shall be thanks to the Master Artist. That is the hope, the stay, the reward - in short the reason to keep plodding even on the most miserable days. Knowing I am a part of His work, the greatest Artist's piece, is enough. I am His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). And that my friends, fills me with hope.
Well the demise of my dream did not come today after all. It was instead another piece of news. So unexpected in fact my mind is reeling and my soul even more so. No doubt it will make it's way onto this blog as well once I have regained enough ability to think if only rambling trails in the hope of making sense of it.
But even still, or rather because of it, I see how powerful, big, and omniscient God is and I am humbled and repentant for ever asking, "Why God, why me, why us?"
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