A Reminder about Love

So today... was a day... a good day... but ending on note of reminder. In part a reminder of what I would really like to forget once in awhile. A reminder that 13 and I see differently sometimes. That our decisions are once again splitting in different directions. A reminder that we are trying to put duct tape on those cracked edges of concrete paths instead of flat out facing them. A reminder that maybe one day I'm going to have to face fighting battles without them...

I don't like facing that.

I used to be better about forgiveness and working things through. Now I just get sad and depressed and think depressed thoughts... that perhaps I was never loved the way I thought I was...  That maybe everyone is right. That no two people can reach across so many lines. That I should have never tried, never thought I could with so much stacked against us - families, social classes, cultures, backgrounds that have shaped us into who we are with our own baggage, ideas, and expectations. yada yada yada.. you get the general idea.

I was giving up. Ready to quit. Mad. Mad at them for not loving me better. Mad at them for not fighting harder. For not showing me more. For not seeing what I was so sure was the truth stamped on the wall in front of their face. For making what I consider poor decisions.

And I was ranting to my best friend, not too unusual, poor girl! She always puts up with me even when I shouldn't be put up with. Tonight was no exception. Also as usual when I'm close to my last straw or losing the right mindset, she said something profound.

First she explained how people hide behind fronts when things are really bothering them. So the arguing tonight could be, and probably was looking back, just as much a front even if they believed a 100% what I was saying. Because debating about theoretical theology is ten times easier than facing and discussing reality.

"Love him,
… Love him expecting to never get anything back. But love him and keep showing him God through your love. It’s all you can do (well, that and pray) but it’s the most powerful thing. And I venture to say that your prayers and love have done a lot for that boy ;)
You will be okay…and tomorrow will be better (or least we can hope!)"

What she said was so profound. What is the point of love? What we can get out of it? Or what the other person needs? 

Christ loved us with a sacrificial love, laying down His own life for us. He could have just wiped out the earth and started over with a fresh, sinless creation. But no. He took the hard way - He chose to save us. To be born a man, live a man limited by a human shell, experience every form of pain, agony and abuse. To be in His final hour forsaken by the Father as He took on the sin of the world despite being the most blameless Lamb. To die an excruciating death. And then to descend where finite mortals, not infinite God, are forced to descend, to Hades, where He wrested the keys away from Satan and stripped death of its power. All this so we might be cleansed of sin, made new in Him. And then made pure as snow, transformed more and more into His image like a mirror beholding and reflecting  through the lifetime work of transformation, able to finally begin to fathom and return this love. (And to think at times I complain about the pain of transformation! How short compared to eternity and the extent of all He has done!) We will never fully comprehend this love nor know it's depths though we have eternity to contemplate it. 

And yet we complain when we dish out love and don't reap the outcome we want? What kind of love is that? Selfish, low down, stingy, and mean. If you want your wishes gratified, go buy a gallon of ice cream. Love is about leaving the other person better off than you found them. It's about seeing their needs and making sure they're met. "It's about doing what's best for them even to the extent of sacrificing their wants at times." - 13. It's easier at times to give someone what they want than what they need. After all there is a self satisfaction in being thanked and praised. If nothing else, it saves one from hearing the whining and complaining.

So what is love if it is not imitating God's love? Fleshly, low, as changing as the wind, love.
And then there is perfect love, able to cast out all fear - capable of surmounting all obstacles, even hell itself. "Love never falls away" (1 Cor. 13:8). Everything else may pass away but this love will not.

God is love. Love with His love. Not yours. Yours will die. His survived death.

It all boils down to...

So today... has been a day. Parts of it mundane. Like cooking greens. Parts of it full of the little joys. Like someone showing you a picture of a model and saying they look like you! And parts of it just plain bad. Like someone walking in and teasing me about my crush and him sitting right there unbeknownst to them.

And as usual, Sunday proved a day of musings. Not all connected... but all making me think, growing me. Because this happens often, I'm going to start this series and entitle it "Sunday Musings."

Random musing while ranting about something else (consider it the light bulb moment in the not so turning to Christ moment): Ultimately, choosing the right actions in life should generally come down to honoring Christ, helping others, and doing the right thing. Not the easy thing. Not the fun thing. Not what we want. 

Or even simpler: His will.

Not WWJD or what's the right thing. Because let's face it. A lot of times there are two good decisions or two bad ones. On our own it's hard to know which one's right.

So it comes down to whatever is important to you.

For me, all too often what's important to me is me. But my hope and goal and prayer is that God would continue to revolutionize my thinking making me put more and more of an emphasis on honoring and glorifying Him. His will. Not what I want or even what I think I need.

Just Christ. 
Just God.