Three Kinds of Trouble

Generally speaking, there are three kinds of trouble when it comes to relationships. Trouble meaning troublemakers - the kinds of people no one would choose to date intentionally. Strangely enough, these three types of are found both in guy and girl varieties.

Firstly, there are the ones just aching to be married. They will settle for almost anything that can remotely be shoved into ever so slightly fulfilling their list. These people are absolutely terrifying as they will tell one anything one wants to hear and then both may end up miserable in a year.

While not as frightening, the noncommittal people still have their list of possible damages to be inflicted. Actually, they appear quite harmless. As a matter of fact, they may cite their lack of commitment as a safeguard to protect you. It isn't. You will respond to love. You will love. You will get hurt. We are wired to do this. Then one day you will wake up and they will not be there because they moved on. Maybe they cruelly are done. Or maybe they just got scared of the capacity to feel. Sometimes being loved is a so beautiful that the first time it's terrifying. Like the ocean. Whatever the reason, they may leave. You will cry. Your heart will break. But you will probably say nothing because technically you feel you can't. There wasn't anything in writing - no declarations of feeling, no official "this is my girlfriend/boyfriend." So there is no romantic running after people in the rain like in the movies. Just an overwhelming crushing pain mixed with the guilt that you only have yourself to blame since the other party never "said" anything.  Perhaps these relationships are the most dangerous because they have a way, either intentionally or accidentally depending on the circumstance, of wrapping you up in them, of occupying a great deal of emotional real estate for long periods of time. So much so in fact that when they are gone, one hardly knows what to do. But one feels that no contract is broken.

It's like taking the furniture but leaving the rug. We feel we can't sue because only the rug was ours originally anyway and we never signed a contract saying everything was everybody's. But we were the ones that dusted and cleaned and loved their furniture. We were the ones that bought the special polish and spent hours applying it.

I'd like to say that there some easy fix. That you could just roll up your sleeves and have the "what are we?" conversation and if the answer's "nothing" just pack up and move on. That is the easy answer. When I'm being completely logical, I even argue that's the only right solution. But it's rarely so easy to carry out. Because let's face it, logic doesn't (and shouldn't always although mostly) rule everything.

The one with the rug, knows they only have a rug. And oh how they love the furniture! What most fail to realize though is there one talent of a rug is valuable and beautiful. It's a one-of-a-kind, designer special. They fail to see they should move on to someone willing to admit they love them.

Or maybe...

Maybe...

Maybe... there is a love that's deeper than our pessimistic society believes to exist.

Maybe some stay because they love so deeply. Maybe it is possible. I'd like to think this unconditional love rubs off and is returned. I've heard it is every so often - so very few and far between often.

That hope is generally enough to make the rug owner keep going.

But if you have the strength and the courage and the self-preservation, move on when they won't commit. Go find/wait on the Lord for someone who will love you the way you are capable of loving.

And to the one's who won't take my advice, or any of the other hundreds of articles written like it...
                       ............. my hat is off to you.