"[I want to] Curse this morning sun that drags me into one more day." - Casting Crowns
12:06 am - the morning before finals
"Dear God, not this. Not now. No. NO. no..... Dear God, no!"
I was shrieking in a whisper to the Maker of the universe, the God I had relied on and turned to and run to and sobbed and yelled at. I was throwing my hands in front of my face and begging Him to make it stop.
But this is no "stain glass masquerade".
"I'm not looking back. I'm done with that. I give You all I have." - "Live with Abandon"
The true agony is that we make it a masquerade. As time went on I became aware of this more and more. As glad as I was that people I loved could come to me with their battles and problems, I was acutely aware that they needed therapy and professional help - neither of which I had. But how could they get it without being shunned and labeled and made into those people - you know the ones. They're whispered about in the name of "praying for them."
"Break down these walls.... Even if it hurts so bad that I can't stand, take it all, Father." - "Wrecking Ball"
In our society inward struggles are hidden, named weird names or just massly called "sin" be they sins or not. Sin itself is unspoken of except in terrifying chandelier-shaking hellfire sermons or fuzzy mushy messages of watered down salvation. Regardless, it's vague. And God forbid you struggle with depression, anxiety or heartache. You must be psychologically ill. So go take your antidepressant and paste your smile on. Face abuse alone lest you be chastised for "gossiping". And porn - you'll boil alive forever.
"People never crumble in a day" - "Slow Fade"
And Christianity as we know it contributes to it.
"I shy away from the specifics...cuz then you'll see my heart." "Who I Hate is Who I've Been"
Seriously, do we think failing to face the facts is going to make us better Christians? Face it, I don't care if you don't want to. To err on the side of conservatism at least 50% of men in our society are addicted to pornography. Thirty percent of pastors have watched it on the Internet in the last year. Eighty percent of Americans state they live depressed. It's not uncommon for girls as young as 15 if not younger to be given a slew of antidepressants. Note: these girls come from supposedly "normal" American homes. Divorce rates across the nation stand at 50% with Christian rates almost as high as secular.
"So sink or swim, I'm diving in." "Dive"by Stephen Curtis Chapman
I wiped my eyes and looked back at the unflinching white computer screen. I took a deep breath before I too unflinchingly said, "Tell me everything I need to know. Make me understand."
There were several more moans before the plastic masks were successfully yanked off of the set.
"I was sure that by now You would have stepped in and saved the day.... I hear You say, 'I'm [still] with you.'" "Praise You in the Storm"
We have to step up, people. God works though His children. He wants to work through us, use us for His purpose and glory. He can't use "happy plastic people under shiny plastic steeples" ("Stain Glass Masquerade"). It puts our infinite Christ in a box. The challenge? Go rip off your paper mâché exterior. Get off that stage. Now. Go and listen. Don't judge your brethren. Go out there and be real. Don't slap your brother or sister when their mask cracks. Your own is barely holding together.
I knew next to nothing that night. Within an hour I knew a lot more. Yes, it hurt. I wanted to stop the pain. My pain - but mostly theirs and every other suffering person's.
That's what you'll find if you rip off your mask and open your heart. You'll find the sin more reviling only because of its ability to wound so deeply. Apathy is lost. Satan becomes very real and you long to see him defeated for the final time.
"If our God is for us then what can stand against us?" "Our God" by Chris Tomlin
You'll have to cling to that because sometimes sin will look devastating. You'll see hopelessness when the mask comes off. You'll have to find hope, faith, love. Or rather you'll have to pray for it. Ask Him for it.
Problems aren't something to shrug off and assume someone else will take care of them. As the body of Christ even the least of these should be the concern of all. So don't just shove praying, listening, fighting on the pastor, elder, counselor.
"Would you give me the time to show me... there's a God Who's more than all I've ever wanted. Cuz I need a little hope. I need to know I'm not forgotten.you might save my life." "Save My Life" - Sidewalk Prophets
I'm tired of apathy. I'm tired of not facing reality. I'm tired of fakeness. Christ is the Spirit of reality. So let's take our responsibility of being made in His image and if He cares, let us care.
We may moan. We may throw our hands in front of our faces. We may yell stop. But ultimately, I want to be there. I don't want to shun any of my brethren for being more than plastic.
"I confess that I've been blind.... Open up this heart of mine.... Let this world take me where You want me to go. Show me how to love." - Sidewalk Prophets
Goodbye Plasticism. Hello Christianity.
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